Yumetou

I’ve recently started a fun little CYOA here on the site. While I was tinkering with the wonky formatting from my cloud, it struck me despite Oscar being the fic’s main character I have never brought him up. So, time to bore you all with my latest creation (and bump the thread for future generations). Tried a new art style below. If you don't care for the art, I'd like to see you do better in MS Paint over a lunch break. Oscar Diggs the Fourth is a stage performer, excelling at the art of trickery magic. While he has some talent at the art, poor Oscar has been having some hard times lately. He lost his job, and is now consigned to performing at children’s parties part-time. At least, until he awakens in the land of the Youkai. Oscar himself was an OC I devised for a roleplaying game on the site here. The head of a pretend corporation dedicated to helping Outsiders prosper, and acquire magical relics. He was meant to be a dealer in unorthodox antiques, and a connection for any Outsider characters. Sadly, several people who joined the games I set up vanished from the site, which discouraged me from continuing. Otherworldly Ventures, his company, is mostly made of smaller businesses. Fisheries, farms, market stalls, even a clinic. If you're an Outsider who has arrived in Gensokyo, its a good place to work to meet your basic needs. The downside is to join, you have to agree to work for them for five to ten years, and give up most of the money you earn. But its protected by humans and friendly Youkai, gives you food and shelter, and you learn life skills about living in Gensokyo. Since Gensokyo is technically an isekai, I decided to make Oscar a reference to one of the first Isekai series. The Wizard of Oz. Like the original Wizard, he’s a cowardly charlatan. Getting by on a mix of cunning, intelligence and basic occult knowledge. This he uses to traverse the land, defeat Youkai, and eventually start up Otherworldly Ventures. I like to think that is part of his appeal. That the story involves him facing Gensokyo with its miracles and monsters without a heroic destiny, but with a high school education and basic life skills.

Knowing your way in the wilderness can be tricky, but you can use the position of the sun to work out where you are. Rising in the east, setting in the west. Its position in regard to Youkai Mountain can allow even a novice explorer to know his exact location. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= “I…see…” Oscar managed, feeling a little better as he did. Her explanation only made so much sense to him, and he was still confused on what this all meant. But now the world all made sense at least. This was all just a dream. A nightmare about the kids he entertained. That was why Rumia tried to eat him, how Cirno could create and throw a twenty-pound block of ice, how everyone besides him could fly. He just had to wait for the sleeping pills to run their course, and he’d wake up back in his bed, safe and sound. The thought was less comforting than he thought it would be. Best to distract himself with small-talk. May as well make the best of the situation. “So that would make you a fairy, right? How are they different?” Beside him, Wriggle gave a small scoff, clearly irritated with the simple question. Daiyousei’s kindly face drifted to Wriggle in reprimand. The kindness was still there, but behind a pointed glare. Wriggle said nothing, her antennae drooping. Before Dai’s familiar expression returned. “Fairies are kind of like Youkai. Some even call us Youkai, but we’re very different. We come from the power of nature. We’re physically weaker than humans, but we’re born with magic, and are sustained by nature. I’m a Flower Fairy, while Cirno is an Ice Fairy. So long as there are cold mornings or spring blossoms, we will be reborn.” “That’s…actually pretty charming,” Oscar mused, making a mental note to remember this lore for his next story time or puppet show at a children’s party. “So, why haven’t I ever seen a Fairy or Youkai before?” “They say Fairies and Youkai are much more secretive in the Outside World.” Daiyousei replied with a shrug. “I've never met someone who knows about the Outside World, but Youkai only exist because of human faith and emotions. If the wrong kinds of human emotions are made, maybe less Youkai exist? Maybe if there’s less nature, there are less fairies? I’m not sure.” Outside World? Was that what they called Earth? That would explain why they kept calling him ‘Outsider’. Still, her answer—while lacking context—clearly made sense… “I can see why the others respect you, Daiyousei. You must have been friends for a very long time.” “Oh, stop,” The green-haired girl giggled. Even as her cheeks flushed, her eyes twinkled with a modest kind of pride. At her side, Rumia’s small arms wrapped around Daiyousei’s waist in an embrace. “Dai-chan’s great…” It was the first time Rumia had spoken since he’d met the rest of the group. The first time he heard her when she wasn’t hunting him down or screaming in pain. The sound was so different, it took Oscar a moment to realize it was Rumia who said it. The taller girl’s hand patted along her shoulder, as though in thanks. “Cirno and I met over the Misty Lake, about twenty years ago. We were very different people. I’ve always been thoughtful and cheery, even for a Flower Fairy, but I struggle standing up for myself. Cirno can be a showoff, a little dense and very brave, but deep down she has a kind heart. I think we have that in common, but…our differences also fit together, I think. It’s like I’m her brain, and she’s my courage. We met Rumia. She had been on her own for so long, Cirno decided she needed a friend. Then we met Mystia, and then Wriggle.” “So…where does the ‘Team 9’ thing come from?” “It’s an inside joke.” Wriggle replied. Letting out a huff which seemed more good-natured than he was used to. Made all the weirder by the presence of a small smile. “Cirno likes to change the name of our group every few months. I think she wants it to fit us all. They were the ‘Lake Fairy Crew’ before I joined. Then she called us the ‘Bakette’, 'CDMRW' ‘Five-under-Five’ and then—” Wriggle’s pleasant expression froze while she gazed ahead. Shifting his eyes, Oscar could see the others had stopped too. The road’s fringes were still lined with red flowers, but the spider lilies were less common now than before. Ahead, bathed in the light of the late afternoon, there was a small figure, dressed in a bright yellow raincoat despite the clear sky. Her hands pawed over one of the skeletons now sprinkled sporadically along the road. She ducked low, seemingly not noticing the group as she eased the body to the side to rifle through its bag. “Oh great…” Cirno murmured, the first to break the silence. Her face shifting into a forced smile. Not afraid, just very uncomfortable. “It’s Agappa.” The reactions of the others were no less tense. Mystia's hands rose to massage her face. Wriggle started to rub the back of her neck. Daiyousei closed her eyes, and took a long deep breath. Rumia simply hiccupped. Wriggle was the first to turn to Oscar. Rumia followed. Within seconds, the rest of the group was silently staring back at him. Each of them silently pleading for the Outsider to defuse an awkward meeting for them... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = …Maybe a magic trick will make a good first impression? = …Maybe you can sneak past her while she is distracted? = ...Maybe take a deep breath, and just run as fast as you can. = ...Maybe you should lie down and get some sleep. They can’t wait longer than you can nap!

SECOND VERSE SAME AS THE FIRST A LITTLE BIT LOUDER AND A WHOLE LOST WORSE! A is for AYAYAYA!

Polls closed! An even distribution of votes, I am proud of myself. But the winner goes to 'I think I ate the last of your food'. Bit of an overreaction over some hazelnuts and two tangerines, but. Today's Bad Touhou Opinion is brought to you by 'browsing random videos at 3 AM'. Enjoy! Food poisoning is rampant in Gensokyo. What's the most likely cause? = Marisa has started a TV Dinner line, and asked Reimu to pick mushrooms for her. She picked the wrong ones. = Mystia is sick, so Cirno, Daiyousei and Rumia decided to help her out at her food stand. Stoves are dangerous though, so they serve her eels raw. = Suika is bored and heard Corona Virus was strong. So she wants to fight it, and won't let anyone's cells stand in her way. = Joon has an idea for a new scam. Vegan hamburgers. = Honestly, I have no idea but its probably the Lunarians' fault.

Though most Youkai, Ghosts and Fairies fly, Gensokyo has many dirt roads and paths. Where do they even come from? =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The road was quiet, save for the sounds of Oscar’s footfalls or the smaller pads of Rumia and Daiyousei. It may have been the oppressive atmosphere, but it seemed as if no one wanted to talk. Well, almost no one, but even Cirno’s excited boasts seemed to be more subdued than when they drove away Kimiko. The only other voice was Daiyousei’s, low and quiet, as she whispered comfortingly to Rumia. With little else to do, he could only crook his ear in the hopes of overhearing them. A loud buzz pulled him back to reality. In the way that humans do when jerked from their thoughts to immediate danger, his hands flailed in the air. Praying it wasn’t a hornet or one of its vicious kin. The girl beside him rolled his eyes. “Calm down, Outsider, it’s just a Syrph…Syr-Syr—it’s just a hoverfly.” Wriggle’s wings buzzed with sudden ferocity, reflecting her exasperated glare, before the buzz stopped. The small, stripped insect drifted around her new companion. Taking a seat on an outstretched finger. The other hand rose, brushing along his back as though it were a valued pet. “I don’t know why you humans are so cruel to insects. It just wanted to know if your flower was real.” The exchange was simple, but was equally surreal. Oscar was used to hearing people coo over animals, especially the rabbit which was presently fast asleep in his top hat. But he had never heard someone speak of such sympathy for an insect. Something so small and delicate, it was likely to be dead within a week. But that didn’t seem to matter to Wriggle as she brushed its back. “S-sorry,” He eventually managed. Not sure how he would recover from the exchange. “I uh, I thought it was a wasp.” “So you couldn’t take five seconds to check, suuure.” The phrase didn’t seem angry, perhaps a little bitter. But more than anything else, exasperated and very tired. “Everyone’s always so mean to insects. Humans are the worst, but it’s not like anyone else cares. Other Youkai, Ghosts, Fairies. Even Cirno only leaves them alone because we’re friends.” “…You really care about insects, don’t you?” “Yeah. I AM a Firefly Youkai. I bet you think that makes me weak, don’t you?” “…Uhh, Wriggle, right? To be completely honest…I don’t know what a Youkai is. I’m not sure I even know strictly what a Fairy or Ghost is here, either.” The quiet resumed. Weighing around the two like a heavy cloud. The antennae on top of Wriggle’s head moved slowly from side to side. Before she let out a sigh. “You really are helpless aren’t you? Even for a human.” “Right, so are you going to tell me?” The return of the silence from before was welcome this time. Wriggle Nightbug turned to him, opening her mouth as though to speak. But nothing emerged. Her head turned in thought, before with a frustrated huff she instead called ahead. “Dai-chan?” The figure ahead of them had her arm around Rumia. While scarcely taller than the children Oscar used to entertain, when she turned her face towards them, it had all the motherly kindness of a saint. One hand caressing the back of Rumia’s head as she sobbed. “Yes Wriggle? I hope you aren’t being mean to our new friend?” “Can you tell Osu what a Youkai is?” "...But you are a Youkai." "No, like, what-what a Youkai is." “Did you forget again Wriggle?” “S-shut up Daiyousei!” “Hehe, you should be nicer Wriggle.” Daiyousei smiled, with all the charm of an angel. “Youkai are beings who exist because of humans. The first Youkai were born when humans believed there was danger and feared the world around them, but they can exist because of other emotions. Humans long ago looked at fireflies, and they felt wonder for them. Because of that, Wriggle was born.” The words were subtle. Enough that Oscar only grasped their intent when Wriggle looked away, crossing her arms. Daiyousei didn’t revel in her lesson, or even draw attention to it. Only smiled understandingly. Beside her, Rumia looked back at Oscar and her friends curiously. Her crying had stopped, though her face was caked with dried tears. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= What next? = “So that would make you a fairy, right? How are they different?” = “The others really respect you, Daiyousei. You must have been friends for a long time.” = “Your friends seem so normal. Why was Kimiko so strange?” = “Humans and Youkai are dependent on one another then?”

U stands for Utsuho the Nuclear Birb

R is for Remilia Scarlet, world's best big sister. ... ...Are they gone? Great. You won't believe how much stress I've been under. Do you realize how long it took me to calm Flan down after Yumetou chose 'Funky' instead of her? The mansion exploded twice after that one.

N is for Nitori.

K is for Best Girl.

The most important thing to remember, when you meet new people, is to remember to give them proper respect. Youkai are used to being feared and respected by humans. It is their sustenance, as much as air is to humans. It is more than a mark of disrespect, you are suffocating them. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The four pairs of eyes gazed down at him from above. Silent and unnerving. Not that Oscar could blame them. Though he had the much stranger day by far, a human bounding out of a forest in a cape and top hat holding a girl would make anyone’s day. The silence pervaded around them. Rumia’s silent sniffs the only sound to break it. It may have been Oscar’s imagination, but he was sure the one in the weird hat was sizing him up. The figure with antenna beside her giving a look of disdain. The other two looked down with more honest curiosity and sympathy, even if it was clearly focused on the girl in his arms. “Uhh, hi there. Is this girl a friend of--” “DAAAIII!” The childish nickname escaped Rumia’s lips like a wail as she embraced the ponytailed girl. Daiyousei embraced the crying Youkai readily. A hand caressing the top of her bleeding head over Rumia’s sobs. Like a magic spell, the expressions of the others shifted at once. The first two by his feet seemed to relax. While the last by his head puffed her chest out triumphantly. “Its okay Rumia, and Human! You’re both safe, now that Cirno is here!” A diminutive hand pushed into his face, making Oscar blink as she smiled up at him. “Thanks for saving Rumia from Princess Creepy. I’m Cirno! These are my friends, Daiyousei, Mystia and Wriggle! You’ve already met Rumia.” Wriggle? What kind of mother named their...son? Daughter? Wriggle? The question weighed heavily on his mind, though it lost out to getting out of here. “Yeah...you could put it like that. I’m Oscar, Oscar Diggs.” The face of his rescuer scrunched up. Ignoring as Daiyousei wrapped Rumia’s head in a handkerchief. “Your name is weird. Even for a human. I’ll just call you Osu! Its much cuter too. So! You rescued a member of Team 9, the greatest group of Fairies and Youkai in all of Gensokyo! If you need anything, you just need to ask.” “Yeahyeah,” Oscar breezed by. Not that he tried to be rude, but it was afternoon now, and he was still surrounded by bones and hadn’t seen a human since the night before. Not to mention he didn’t want to risk explaining he had only met Rumia, because she was trying to eat him. “Hey, can you show me the way out of this place? Its kind of creepy here.” “Sure!” The small hand of the blue-haired...fairy? Was made no less energetic by its smallness. Cirno smiled cheerfully, though it seemed to slip as her eyes roamed over the forests. “We were just about to go back to the Youkai Trail for some ramen! The Human Village is just past that! C’mon, you don’t want to stick around here after dark, even if you’re strong like me! Wild Youkai are annoying when they’re hungry.” The small figure took to the air, moving with little effort as she started back down the path. The other two, Mystia and Wriggle, soon followed after. While Daiyousei and Rumia remained on the ground, the better to secure Rumia's makeshift bandage. Silence pressed on the group again, aside from Cirno and Mystia's excited arguments over ramen up ahead. Left alone, now would be a good time to befriend one of the strangers and ask one of the many questions on his mind. But whom? =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= = Cirno seems to be the boss of this group. She might seem a little dumb, but she's cheery and seems friendly, if only because you saved her friend. = Mystia seems frustrated with Crino's constant 'ramen recipes', but she stood up for you. Maybe thanking her will give you a chance to learn more about the world. = Wriggle hasn't said much, but she seems like more of a loner than the rest. I'm sure she has something interesting to said. Just don't laugh at her name... = Daiyousei seems the most level-headed and motherly of the group. Maybe you can leverage saving Rumia to learn some things. = Sure, Rumia tried to eat you, but you did rescue her. Maybe you can even cheer her up.

And the polls are In! I may have left this one poorly balanced, but modifying the conditions seemed unfair. ;) The busty buddhist and the jokey hermit win our contest, with Satori giving verbal CBT a close second. The only reason I am sure she lost is because you would have to hear Koishi excitedly giving her opinion on Metamorphosis. And now, this week's Bad Touhou Opinion! Reimu wants to kill you. A lot. What did you say to upset her so much? = "No donations." = "I think I ate the last of your food." = "Want to help me cook that turtle?" = "What happened to Mima?" = "Sanae is a better main character." = "Man. My shrine/temple/church is way more popular than yours." = "I want to date a Youkai." = "Show me your armpits. Now."

F stands for Funky (get funky).

This is incredible Koakuma! Every artwork you make seems to improve over the last just a little bit. Its great to see you establish and improve your style. :) I can't wait to see your next one.

B be Byouren.

The vote was sadly delayed due to a rough few weeks on my end. But now its time to tally! And our worst St. Valentine's Day date is...Seija, congratulations! You are worst girl, and probably very happy with that. Though to be honest, I am just proud this list I made has a yandere Alice kidnap and forcibly marry you, and it still didn't get a single vote. Glad to see all my options were roughly equally terribad, but Seija won out in the end! New Bad Touhou Opinion (TM) for your viewing pleasure. Please enjoy, and vote humbly. You are stuck between one of these pairs on an intercontinental flight. You may chat with them, but they will mostly interact with one another regardless of your choices. Which would you choose? = Reimu and Marisa arguing over whether Reimu's anger management or Marisa's kleptomania require therapy. Reimu only yells once or twice, but your wallet is missing. = Mokou and Kaguya, who have brought a TV and a console to play Smash on at max volume (no, you cannot play). = A judgmental Satori who brings up your darkest moments and past search history, as well as Koishi who seems creepily delighted at your tastes in doujins. = Yuyuko and Yuuma, who have brought a buffet's worth of food for an eating contest. They're pleasant but very loud and messy eaters. = Toyosatomimi and Byakuren in the middle of a fierce but respectful religious debate. = Reisen and Junko, who are mostly silent save for occasional incendiary comments about Lunarians. This slowly builds until they start a fistfight, with you in the middle as the plane lands. = Akyuu and Kosuzu, but they whisper to each other about how you are a stinky creep. If you make any rapid movements or speak to them, they pepper spray or taze you. = Rinnosuke and Genjii. They're both pleasant and soft-spoken, but Genjii snores and Rinnosuke keeps putting his hand on your thigh and keeping uncomfortable eye contact.

I'll have to look it up sometime. Both Windows 10 and 11 have awful design. I think nothing shows that more than the search bar. In XP, typing something there would not only give you the program you wanted, but its directory. All the folders and subfolders, so you could find it again on your own. Now? It gives me the option to do a Google search for what I was looking for. Wonderful.

Would. This makes me nostalgic. You still using Windows XP, or is this just a modification to give you the aesthetic of XP? Damn. I thought my desktop was cluttered.

Well guys, the polls are in, and its a tie between the objectively correct answer and Cirno. Since the next few days will be super busy for me, I thought I may as well give you all my Bad Touhou Opinion for the week in advance. One of these characters has kidnapped you to be their Valentine's Day date. Which would be the most miserable for you? = Tenshi. Wants to do something exciting and fun, pushing you both into increasingly dangerous situations. Demands slaps instead of kisses, and calls you 'master' even after you ask her to stop. = Parsee. She is jealous and protective of you and always looking for a way to ruin your date. But no matter how bad things get, she wants to keep the date going. Prefers PDA to make others jealous. = Yukari, who has pulled you into her Gap World so you can watch TV with her as she crochets. The house smells of cat pee, and she wants you to call her 'Mommy' when you kiss or hold hands. = Yoshika. Smart, but with a wandering mind. Will read you romance poetry, but is stiff and robotic. Unable to feel romantic feelings or pleasure, but appreciates you trying. (Also, zombie). = Yuuka, who smashes your computer so the two of you can go on a four hour nature walk. Will probably step on you at some point. = Seija. She asked you on a date, kidnapped you when you said no, and generally wants to do the opposite of what you do. = Rumia. She doesn't want to date you, just fatten you up with a big dinner before trying to eat you. = Alice. Your date starts off charming and romantic, with no expense spared. But she becomes increasingly unhinged as the night continues. The date ends with with her demanding you marry and have children so she will 'always be relevant to someone'.

I could give an answer, like 'It was the youtube videos, the cute fumo meme, the characters and their relationships, the deluge of images on 4chan I never thought to investigate'. All those are true, even if they aren't the thing which made me decide to look into Touhou. What really drew me in? You guys. The fans. In an era where fans are continually milked by companies or are sanitized to appeal to investors, Touhou still feels like fandoms back in the 90s and 00s. There's a sense of playful fun and adventure. People aren't trying to prove their devotion to the source material by increasingly tenuous theory-crafting. There's no one scrubbing sites of any kind of criticism. And definitely no massive DLC pack or five year content map with a battle pass. Its a bunch of dudes and dudettes who enjoy something, who enjoy talking about the thing. Not some drama, the game's glorified marketing or wiki bullet-points. The characters, setting and story are at the heart of Touhou like very few games today, and the fans' love reflect that.