You’ve certainly done your research, goodness me. Though some could certainly be excused as me not utilizing all of my situations to the fullest potential. Heaps of praise for you and faults that your writing exposed in mine to analyze, I’ve been complacent.
First though, a question that comes from the end of that ‘small’ introduction you wrote: Do you want me to also keep the choices Mark makes in mind when writing? You would be using the OoC to cast his vote, mind you, but I can’t help but read a wish to continue in between those lines. I won’t stop you if you do happen to do that, nor can I change your mind if you don’t.
As for the story itself, let’s go through it while I tell you my observations.
This opportunity for you came because of how I have kind of chained myself to Mina, which comes with its own strengths and weaknesses, like this one as an example of both. I certainly could've utilized that time more, yet at the same time it created a gap that people can have a little fun in their fantasy. As for the actual substance, it feels like it manages to have more substance than my roundabout way of getting to the point, but maybe I’m just not analyzing my own writing correctly.
Our vengeful spirit is from the Outside World, with all that that implies. It also serves as an explanation of how he got into Gensokyo, considering that it appears he was getting sent to the Road of Reconsideration, but was stopped for some reason in an abandoned village. Gensokyo, becoming the much more militarized anime Game of Thrones Illusionary Nirvana and thus not friendly to outsiders, gave him no shortage of slights. Yet he continued on without a lot more hatred in his heart. Saying more would actually be revealing parts of my plan for his character development. Bonus points for the interesting usage of actual Japanese, even if it uses a translation website, it adds a layer of immersion.
Point two for being in a between zone of Anime Game of Thrones and actual Touhou, Spell card Duels, with small adjustments, are being held. I also see that you took the Lunarians into account, as well. Other than that, this mostly deals with just the slights given to him with his horrendous hand... and don't think you can let 志村 (Shimura) slip me by. Rumia murdered him, which has the added benefit of at least dying to a leader of a minor faction! The one of the ravenous and half-mad Youkai, yes, but still!
Your interpretation of Jun when he is not around Mina Katt is something I wouldn't be able to write with the chains I willingly put on myself, but you nailed the bit completely. I hope it wasn't too hard and easy enough to write him. You also took your time setting up the start of the character development train in this instance, with multiple locations that we will be going to for me to explore as well as multiple people we should meet. For the actual interview, I merely changed a few details that are probably very important, as well as rewriting the entire thing from the perspective of the upstarting cat who somehow earned the Queen's favour, which reveals some things I assume you didn't know.
Don't force yourself, my writing quality also decreases when I do that... But I also asked you all to do something so I don't start getting complacent and give it my all. I'll also be looking to resolve a few threads that started in the beginning, so look forward to that~.
Also, I'll be moving the updates to the morning of monday / evening of sunday. I got lucky this time and the writing came naturally, but I spent way too much of my day to be comfortable doing that when I actually need to go to school, thus this measure. (Also because then I start competing with Yumetou, which can actually [paradoxically] increase the amount of readers here.)
I also didn't mean to send you completely away from your Makuragaeshi, so sorry if that "try again" attacked you more than I wanted it to. You gave me a concept of a character, so I gave you a chance to further deepen your understanding of it, while also luring you to basically everywhere else. I didn't expect you to take one of the baits, at the very least.
You can probably tell why I complain about the hours I sink into these comments, can't you?