Well guys, the polls are in, and its a tie between the objectively correct answer and Cirno. Since the next few days will be super busy for me, I thought I may as well give you all my Bad Touhou Opinion for the week in advance.
One of these characters has kidnapped you to be their Valentine's Day date. Which would be the most miserable for you?
= Tenshi. Wants to do something exciting and fun, pushing you both into increasingly dangerous situations. Demands slaps instead of kisses, and calls you 'master' even after you ask her to stop.
= Parsee. She is jealous and protective of you and always looking for a way to ruin your date. But no matter how bad things get, she wants to keep the date going. Prefers PDA to make others jealous.
= Yukari, who has pulled you into her Gap World so you can watch TV with her as she crochets. The house smells of cat pee, and she wants you to call her 'Mommy' when you kiss or hold hands.
= Yoshika. Smart, but with a wandering mind. Will read you romance poetry, but is stiff and robotic. Unable to feel romantic feelings or pleasure, but appreciates you trying. (Also, zombie).
= Yuuka, who smashes your computer so the two of you can go on a four hour nature walk. Will probably step on you at some point.
= Seija. She asked you on a date, kidnapped you when you said no, and generally wants to do the opposite of what you do.
= Rumia. She doesn't want to date you, just fatten you up with a big dinner before trying to eat you.
= Alice. Your date starts off charming and romantic, with no expense spared. But she becomes increasingly unhinged as the night continues. The date ends with with her demanding you marry and have children so she will 'always be relevant to someone'.