You know, I've been feeling out of touch with Touhou lately as well, in terms of canon I think I just stopped paying attention it and just stared to enjoy the series for it's characters, I'm not much of a lore expert but even I must admit that I'm barely invested in it nowadays since I care more about imagining my version of gensokyo, again I'm just in it for the characters and art, I honesty wish I could create some stories of my own one day, I'm just a secondary fan since I mainly engage in fan works and would like to make my own but even then I haven't figured it out myself.
Now I hate talking about this but with the amount of lewd art I've seen makes me feel like I've sort of become this degenerate just by looking at it and I hate it, I feel like I've lost touch with not only myself but with reality as well. I feel like I've corrupted my enjoyment of the series to the point where I'm paranoid to the point where I would be shamed by others for my enjoyment of the series, I.E. if someone called me a degenerate if I enjoyed this thing that is looked down upon or to a lesser degree receive disapproval or shame from members of the touhou community either because I said or made something controversial, at this point I can't tell if I'm just afraid of my downfall or I'm just overthinking shit. I know this isn't healthy to think about and at this point I've just been wondering if I should just take a brake from this community or just Touhou entirely.
It just hurts known what joy I had is slowly dwindling into misery and I have been trying improve my life but as always there's gotta be something to fuck my shit up. Ah, but do I know, at this point I'm still struggling with a bunch of things I don't want to be dealing with.
Edit: If the moderation team is reading this then I apologize for copying this post and sending it to other post, I made an error and decided to edit the original instead, if I violated the rules then I will accept punishment.