I don't see what's the problem with what I'm reading here(Unless your addicted to Touhou or smth, and it's legitimately causing you some serious issues. In that case, you might wanna lay off the internet in general, and not just Touhou content for a while...), all fandoms have Bad Apples and Touhou is no exception, but even then the talent of many Touhou fans cannot be understated, this is evidenced by literally 90% of all Touhou content which is just fan-content, Touhou fans are like Jojo fans and vice versa, passionate, talented, and loves all things Touhou and JJBA. And about that romance stuff, I don't see the problem with that either, you're still 20 so you've got plenty of time to deal with that, and so why the rush? While I am somewhat aromantic, as well as preferring solitude over having company 80-90% of the time(not to mention busy with work), and I've never really cared about having a gf or anything like that, I still feel like it's generally better to take it slow and easy, trying to rush having a close romantic relationship is just asking for trouble, love can also destroy you just as easily as it can be a creative force, and it can also be just as hideous as it can be beautiful so one must practice caution when it comes to love. I even heard from some acquaintances that I apparently wasn't missing out on much. People have their interests, and I can't fault anyone for being interested in Touhou. After all, it is curiosity that got me into Touhou in the first place; I remember just sitting on my couch, watching videos on YT, wondering what this "Touhou" is that keeps getting referenced in countless works that I've read and watched, and that's pretty much where it started. After that, I just watched the "Bad Apple" music video, asked questions that helped me with getting familiar with Touhou, and after that I was pretty much hooked. The lore, the mysteries, the girls and their interesting backstories and personalities, the fanart, the storylines, the fascinating realm called "Gensokyo", etc...I found it all interesting, and it's specifically that interest that motivated me to know more about Touhou. I don't care what others think of regarding the things I'm interested in(if they learned about them), and one shouldn't always look to other people for approval of their own tastes.
The internet is plagued from head to toe with degeneracy, shouldn't let it dissuade you at all from liking stuff that interests you though...
Touhou fans, or at least you it seems, aren't a lost cause, I don't know where you got that idea cause I don't know what your personal life is like, but you've still got plenty of life ahead of you to look forward to at a ripe age of 20.