which tf2 merc will touhou characters main and how will they play them?

[Idioms21]

Here are some of my thoughts:

Cirno - Scout since he has all the ways to fuck with the enemy team. She'll do all the things expected of a scout main like landing 2 meatshots into default scattergun taunt into getting killed, always missing the second shot of the force a nature and soda popper, milking someone into laugh taunt into kill bind, robbing health packs from medics, hitting herself with the boston basher then grabbing the health pack the moment a teammate goes to grab it. The whole high risk high reward style of the scout just makes her feel so good everytime she outplays some fool and with scout himself already being so cocky, it's like she was born to main him. Also she probably paints her cosmetic with those highly saturated paints that stings your eyes.

Okuu - Scorchshot Phlog pyro. The playstyle takes the rather complicated position of the pyro dumbs it down to what every new player likes about him, he doesn't need good aim to play, he can eviscerate large groups of unprepared enemies, the *ting* hitsound rapid fires. There are probably better classes she could play that is also not that hard to play like soldier, heavy, and medic, heck even stock pyro would be more helpful, but non of them has that same high as using your "mmph" as the enemy team rounds the corner and your ear ruptures from all the hitsounds while the enemy team panics and gets turn into ash. Over time she has found that spamming scorchshots at chokepoint is a very easy way to get mmph without putting herself at risk by actually getting close. Sometimes a voice will whisper in her ears to "shoot at the enemy sniper", "it'll be quick it" "just a little more and you'll fill up your mmmp", "they're not even that good, they won't hit you" it says, then she'll gets her head blown off instantly, she'll never learn from this mistake and will always let the voices win.

Mystia - She's pretty good at heavy, actually no, she's damn good. She can always be found in the objective fighting the good fight with the team behind her back, like a massive brick wall the enemy struggles to take down despite being so fat and having a nice and shiny bald head begging to have a hole freshly punched into it. She understands what a good heavy can bring to the table and so she works hard to rally his team to victory and thanking everyone for their hard work, especially that medic that has been keeping her ass alive the whole game. But by far the most important aspect to heavy as to why she chose him is that he's a funny Russian man who says "pootis". While being a tryhard is good and all, being able to just kick back, relax, and do silly things is also important, and she finds it easier to do with the funny tf2 meme guy. She just kinda goes along with what the vibe of the server is, if its a serious game for serious gamers then she's gonna lock in, if one guy or the whole server is doing their antics then she's gonna join them. At the end of the day she's just there to have fun and whatever the teams definition of "fun" is then she'll be more than happy to help them achieve it.

Sakuya & Scarlet - Sakuya would definitely be better off being a sniper since her aim is on point, and at this point she just look like she's playing aimlabs but the targets are tf2 mercs heads. But unfortunately her mistress demands to be pocketed despite already running the soldier bitchbox and cuntch combo. Though Scarlet is actually not that bad with soldier, her aim is decent, she knows how to propel herself forward with a rocket jump (and thats about the extent of her rocket jump skills), she knows where the health packs are so she can be left unattended and still survive. But she gets all pissy when she dies and doesn't wanna walk back to the fight so she gets Sakuya to babysit her and demand that only she gets the uber. Sakuya is well aware that her mistress can handle herself in a fight so she doesn't just heal her 24/7 and actually spreads heals evenly among the team so everyone is in tiptop shape (while paying close attention to Scarlet's health) while saving the uber for her mistress to go on a rampage. Scarlet just wanna have her fun by blowing shit up and Sakuya is willing to help her do that if she asks.

 

Edit: I just realized I refer remilia with her last name more than her first name lol that scarlet gensokyo did do a number on me

Edited January 16 by Idioms21
wow i just realized

[kymoh]

Cool ideas! It was interesting to see you chose the mercs based on the character's personality, unlike what most people do- matching generic character abilities such as Eirin = Medic or Nitori = Engie. It was fun imagining Remi screaming for heals after taking a single hit. And Mystia as heavy threw me off for a sec but your explanation makes plenty of sense.

 

I'll add some of my thoughts too:

Meiling - You'd think she would play frontline heavy and guard the control point. But I think it'd be funny if she would be one of those engineers that set up camp at the intelligence and use the chair taunt. You know, the one where he pulls out the big lounge chair and relaxes with some beers. Then Meiling would go afk and probably get all her buildings sapped and destroyed soon after XD

 

Yuuka - Machina sniper. And she'd be a beast with it. She might struggle a bit against other snipers or annoying scouts, but she's the type to send a fully-charged headshot straight through a heavy and his healer with one shot. She's the type to destroy a conga taunt line just to get that sweet collateral (as I've done before). I was also thinking direct hit soldier might fit Yuuka, but I heard Yuuka's not very aggressive and tends to stay close to her sunflower field. So yeah, cozy camper for her secondary :) .   This would mean she can stand her ground even better, and also land headshots while burning. Basically an Okuu/Pyro's worst nightmare haha

[Idioms21]

4 hours ago, kymoh said:

Meiling - You'd think she would play frontline heavy and guard the control point. But I think it'd be funny if she would be one of those engineers that set up camp at the intelligence and use the chair taunt. You know, the one where he pulls out the big lounge chair and relaxes with some beers. Then Meiling would go afk and probably get all her buildings sapped and destroyed soon after XD

It's funny to think how it just requires one engie on each team to turn a ctf match into a never ending stalemate and yet she would still mess up defending the intel at every opportunity
 

4 hours ago, kymoh said:

Yuuka - Machina sniper. And she'd be a beast with it. She might struggle a bit against other snipers or annoying scouts, but she's the type to send a fully-charged headshot straight through a heavy and his healer with one shot. She's the type to destroy a conga taunt line just to get that sweet collateral (as I've done before). I was also thinking direct hit soldier might fit Yuuka, but I heard Yuuka's not very aggressive and tends to stay close to her sunflower field. So yeah, cozy camper for her secondary :) .   This would mean she can stand her ground even better, and also land headshots while burning. Basically an Okuu/Pyro's worst nightmare haha

I imagine she'd have that smug expression the whole game while the enemy team tries their hardest to shut her down and fail. Also a 2fort match between her and Okuu would be funny as everytime Okuu would step out of her base she'd get her head blown off by Yuuka before reaching the other base. Okuu could always take the sewers but if she drops down from the bridge she'd still get shot before she even jumps down, but taking the longer and safer route through her own base wouldn't work since she'll forget why she's there, get bored, then get back up, and get shot outside again. The whole time Yuuka is 100% aware of the mental and emotional distress she's causing the poor bird