what are the most unhinged theorys and headcannons you can come up with?

[Guest]

the title is self explanatory no real evidence is needed (but that would make it cooler) because this is mostly humorous

im gonna start off by saying that the reason youmu is half phantom is because she got so scared by something that her soul and her clans souls left their bodies

[kymoh]

What headcanons have I come up with? Surprisingly I don't think I really have any. I dunno maybe I'm not imaginative enough

What headcanons CAN I come up with? I know it's a simple grammatical error in the title but I can't help it- I'll now try to come up with the most unhinged ideas on the spot haha:

 

--All right, this is future me. Please don't read the delusional ramblings below--

 

Did you know Reimu is actually a mystical blue alien that was crafted by Marisa in an effort to help soothe her life-threatening schizophrenia and the fact that she has no friends? But it turns out Reimu was accidentally summoned on the 30th of Feburary (the night of the demons), resulting in her becoming the single most powerful but anemic sorcerer of all time. Yep, she might look like a miko but the red clothes actually represents her lack of blood and she's not allowed to leave the shrine or she'll crumble into dust. Anyways this all lends itself to the idea that all the youkai in Gensokyo are mind-controlled by Reimu's ghost dog named Dawg. And since Dawg is actually just a figment of Reimu's imagination, in the end it is Reimu that mind-controls all the youkai. Think about it, my theory is supported by evidence. How else is she the one that stopped all the incidents? It's because she CAUSED them herself! By inventing more incidents Reimu can profit off of the rewards for solving them, and the motive is clear because everyone knows she's always begging for donations. So, what is there to do about this unsettling truth? Well, there exists an ancient but powerful ritual that can stop Reimu and put an end to all these incidents! The ritual is based off of a traditional Masonic initiation event and it involves blindfolding the main subject (in this case, you!). Because you won't be able to see, Reimu will be unable to see you, and she'll become so lost that Marisa will stop seeing her schizophrenic delusions and Reimu will vanish from existence! Quick, before it's too late!

[Idioms21]

Letty is always having one of those Ryan Gosling depressed moments. Prolly cuz I don't see her get mentioned enough