Making fun of Touhou characters

[CountVonNumenor]

I am honestly looking for something to make things a little bit more relaxed, and raise morale after some recent problems. So, over a month ago I saw on r/touhou the post that inspired me start this one here. The idea is simple:

• one person stars by writing the name of their favorite character
• the next person tries to make fun of that character is the limits of common sense - one can make use of how ridiculous things related to that character can be in either canon or fanon
• once the "roast" (I think we can call it as such) is done, that person can add their own favorite 2hu
• repeat

One can answer to as many posts as they wish, and I honestly encourage as much discussion as possible. Let's keep this light-hearted, and make a fun thread. For anyone wanting to see the original thread ad how it worked, here's a link to it https://www.reddit.com/r/touhou/comments/ur3fiz/comment/i900zra/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

 

 

To make things easier, I will go first:

Quote

Hieda no Akyuu

 

[Darksymphony777]

2 hours ago, CountVonNumenor said:

o make things easier, I will go first:

Quote

Hieda no Akyuu

she spends too much time using hardcovers as a mattress

[Isaac]

 

4 hours ago, CountVonNumenor said:

I am honestly looking for something to make things a little bit more relaxed, and raise morale after some recent problems. So, over a month ago I saw on r/touhou the post that inspired me start this one here. The idea is simple:

• one person stars by writing the name of their favorite character
• the next person tries to make fun of that character is the limits of common sense - one can make use of how ridiculous things related to that character can be in either canon or fanon
• once the "roast" (I think we can call it as such) is done, that person can add their own favorite 2hu
• repeat

One can answer to as many posts as they wish, and I honestly encourage as much discussion as possible. Let's keep this light-hearted, and make a fun thread. For anyone wanting to see the original thread ad how it worked, here's a link to it https://www.reddit.com/r/touhou/comments/ur3fiz/comment/i900zra/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

 

 

To make things easier, I will go first:

 

Oh this sounds like fun!

Whenever Akyuu is mentioned, I sometimes think 'who is that again?' I also heard that she likes to abuse yukkuris, so I'd rather stay away from this psycho.

Parsee Mizuhashi is my favourite!

[CountVonNumenor]

10 hours ago, Darksymphony777 said:

she spends too much time using hardcovers as a mattress

Oh, I think you also had to mention your character once you made the joke on the previous one. 

 

Also, just to make it clear: the chain dos not restrict you to only answering to the previous character mentioned if you sish so. As I don't really expect a lot of people in here, even at reply 30+ for example you could come back and make a joke about Akyuu if you haven't done so. 

 

 

[Ka Takane]

Nitori Kawashiro

 

Akyuu's Untouched Score? More like Touched Score for HRtP! :P

[SasaMisa]

Okay, I'll take a double bite at the cherry to keep things moving along here. (=^_^=)

Parsee - Totally jealous of how blue Cirno is.

Nitori - Worst turtle costume ever!

Suika Ibuki

ETA: Funny story about Akyuu as well... I have a poster on my living room door with her, Yukari, Reimu, Marisa & Suika on it. For the longest time, I thought it was Shinmyoumaru because of how petite and young looking she's drawn, compared to how different she looked in Hack and Slash. (^_^;)

[Darksymphony777]

2 hours ago, CountVonNumenor said:

Oh, I think you also had to mention your character once you made the joke on the previous one. 

oh darn it. that's my fault. let me try again

 

1 hour ago, SasaMisa said:

Suika Ibuki

forever will be know as a goblin rather than a oni

kogasa tatara

[CountVonNumenor]

16 minutes ago, Darksymphony777 said:

kogasa tatara

I am feeling quite sorry for her - she is a blacksmith making the Persuasion Needles for Reimu, but still ends up victim of them. Attacked wit your own guns. 

 

12 hours ago, Isaac said:

Parsee Mizuhashi

Is there anything going for her in both canon and fanon besides constantly being jealous of anything that moves?

 

12 hours ago, Isaac said:

Whenever Akyuu is mentioned, I sometimes think 'who is that again?' I also heard that she likes to abuse yukkuris, so I'd rather stay away from this psycho.

Speaking of Akyuu. The reply I got in the original thread about her was the following: "I think she has a fetish for footnotes" (I had quite a bit of fun imagining that one though; unironically funny knowing how many footnotes she likes adding per each article/chapter in the encyclopedias). We also don't talk about yukkuri personalities 

[Gou the frog]

 

17 hours ago, CountVonNumenor said:

To make things easier, I will go first:

Quote

Hieda no Akyuu

Akyuu was it? Wasn't she the old grandma of the Hieda family that looks younger everytime a new incident happens. Not to mention, She really lives up to her name the "Child of Miare." Her untouched music score is popular but fans doesn't really want to touch it, remixes? not a soul would be aware of it.

14 hours ago, Isaac said:

Parsee Mizuhashi

On every Valentine days, the jealously only grows bigger but what's that? She doesn't really have a face outside of that bridge.

3 hours ago, Ka Takane said:

Nitori Kawashiro

You know I was starting to think she is a fish rather than a turtle 'cause you see japanese fish can be a legend after crossing a river meanwhile japanese turtles have holes on their head.

3 hours ago, SasaMisa said:

Suika Ibuki

Flat chest, Flat chest, Tiny Flat chest! All right, who needs friends when you have alcohol as you disappear with the mist.

2 hours ago, Darksymphony777 said:

kogasa tatara

I don't see how a lady was abandoned. Maybe she smith her original stories but a lot of lads are quite bored by her.

 

Quote

Hoshiguma Yuugi (You will not take Meiling)

 

[CountVonNumenor]

Some extra materia people could use for the slander. It does not contain the manga-only and CD characters, lacks PC-98 and Unconnected Marketeers, but I think it works as a joke. Dude made fun of absolutely everyone, and turned it from "stereotypes about the fans of X character" into "making fun of X character".

 

[buskerdog]

3 minutes ago, Gou the frog said:

Hoshiguma Yuugi (You will not take Meiling)

Why even take Meiling? Let's be real, the only jokes anyone has to make about Meiling are so overdone they're not even worth the time anymore. Wait, was that an accidental roast in and of itself?

Suika has two horns. Kasen also has two horns  I mean what? Kasen totally isn't an oni. Yuugi only has one horn. Therefore, she is clearly the most inferior oni.

 

Alright, then - Reimu Hakurei. Go ahead. See if you can actually say something original to poke fun at her, something that I haven't already seen a billion times. I dare you.

[Gou the frog]

I saw that one months ago, apparently doremy is the only safe one. I also have an extra flair though 

 

[CountVonNumenor]

53 minutes ago, Gou the frog said:

I saw that one months ago, apparently doremy is the only safe one. I also have an extra flair though 

 

Oh, OVJM content. Good reminder for me to add something in the comment from the thread related to his analysis. 

[SasaMisa]

Heh, more like "smooth flat chest", Gou, because that is what "tsuru pettan" literally means. Always brings a smile to my face when Suika appears out the mist in SWR too, you know. (^u^)

That Parsee roast in the first video though... poor Isaac! Damn, the second set of videos (only watched the first one so far) is also some crazy sh*t. (^_~)

[Ka Takane]

Kogasa - Umbrellas suck especially in strong winds, raincoats are better

Suika - Your name is literally bitch in Russian

Parsee - I think she would do fine in the communist party for her jealousy

Yuugi - Lol stuck in the underground unlike Suika

Reimu - Marisa has more original boss themes than you (5 for Reimu, 7 for Marisa. I count Dream Battle and Master Spark from IN as original as well instead of remixes of LLS)

[sodaodaoda]

Reimu - You cannot convince me she isn't a zombie in Touhou 10, why is her skin so yellow? Maybe the Hakurei God revived her for MoF.
Speaking of the Hakurei God, Reimu, you should be more interested in said God, maybe that's why you're poor xd

As for me, my fav is Alice Margatroid!

[CountVonNumenor]

8 hours ago, sodaodaoda said:

Alice Margatroid!

Oh, by now I think her canon and fanon personalities have pretty much split into two (or maybe more) characters. Also, where has she been since SA?

[Ka Takane]

LLS has a theme named "Alice Maestra", but Alice isn't there. Curious.

[Reicirna_731]

Flandre Scarlet? more like, blandre scarlet, oooh! jk.

[CountVonNumenor]

16 hours ago, Ka Takane said:

LLS has a theme named "Alice Maestra", but Alice isn't there. Curious.

Speaking of Alice themes and PC-98. I am afraid to search up the name of the Stage 3 theme from Mystic Square (and Alice's debut) in order not to get on the FBI watchlist. Song is good though.

[CountVonNumenor]

Alright, new rule. No longer limited to your number 1 Touhou character, you can now expand it to the rest of your top 10.
Again, I am here to stat it:

2. Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu
3. Renko Usami
4. Maribel Hearn
5. Youmu Konpaku
6. Yuuka Kazami
7. Mayumi Joutouguu
8. Raiko Horikawa
9. Tenkyuu Chimata
10 Utsuho Reiuji

[Shionne Imeris]

Yuuka - 


Utsuho - why is my microwave malfunctioning

Chimata - 

That's a pretty way to call a stealing and makes sense considering how polite you are but we already got one professional thief called Marisa, sorry buddy no place for two in gensokyo


gotta pick one for now and that would be Seiga Kaku

[Ka Takane]

Seiga - Why does your name sound like that certain Japanese company. Your hair is even the same color as their mascot!

Chimata - You look like an NFT lol

Yuuka - Meh, I liked you better in the PC-98 games

Flandre: Leche flan in canon, and leche ka in fanon.

Eiki: You are a war criminal

Utsuho: You're so dumb you don't even appear in Satori's manga

 

My other favorite characters (in no particular order) are Takane (duh), Rika, Rikako, Yumemi, Mai (PC-98), Satori, Koishi, Junko, and Daiyousei

[CountVonNumenor]

On 7/8/2022 at 11:20 AM, Shionne Imeris said:

Yuuka - 

Yeah, this is a very good description of not just fanon Yuuka, but also fanon Tenshi (before getting turned into Shion's girlfriend by fans). Not sure about Iku though. What is usually the fanon surrounding her besides being lazy/living in a messy home? Also that Tenshi and the way she was turned into a car reminds me of an old slightly cursed, but also extremely funny shitpost animation (?) seen long ago about two guys using each other as a car or something and I think competing against an actual car. 

 

On 8/6/2022 at 6:03 AM, Ka Takane said:

Chimata - You look like an NFT lol

You remind me of this. Looks like Chimata either did not understand what an NFT is, or she utterly despises them

Spoiler

Artist is naufaldreamer https://twitter.com/naufaldreamer/status/1544721171064635392/photo/1

 

On 8/6/2022 at 6:03 AM, Ka Takane said:

Yuuka - Meh, I liked you better in the PC-98 games

If you want hardcore/edgy Yuuka, look no further than her Seihou version. That image gives you strong "I need help..." vibe

 

On 8/6/2022 at 6:03 AM, Ka Takane said:

Eiki: You are a war criminal

How did you know I have one war song from each former Yugoslav nation? But yeah, I find very interesting the whole theme and symbolism behind the release of PoFV, the idea of every 60 year cycle (which conveniently coincided with the 60th commemoration of the end of the war and start of the tribunals, as well as being not long after the big tsunami that took so many lives in the Indian Oceana area)

[Gou the frog]

On 6/28/2022 at 10:12 AM, Ka Takane said:

Reimu

Other than the fact that most of her donations her sake, my allowance is higher than her. A high school student one that is. Oh, and the new outfit in WbaWc looks some mammal had a nice time sleeping with.

 

On 6/29/2022 at 3:13 PM, sodaodaoda said:

Alice Margatroid

Oh dear, haven't seen you before you're a that witch marisa right? Oh nevermind cause you "spend most of your time alone" on the banished realm of forgotten character.

 

On 7/7/2022 at 9:39 PM, CountVonNumenor said:

Eiki Shiki, Yamaxanadu

I thought the Yama would be big and intimidating but what we got was rather underwhelming. Also what is with that scarecrow like stance? 

 

And I ran out of fuel, feel free to roast Hina.